On our way to aerobics class a friend of mine was sharing with me her shifting woes. She is single and shares an apartment with 2 more girls. Her new place is good but has usual problems like water supply, some errant guys at the end of street, cooking etc.
Her experience reminded me of my days in Ahmedabad. It was my first job and my mom was accompanying me to look out for a place to stay. I wanted to put up in a P.G. but Ahmedabad has very limited options of professional PG Accommodation. My mom found a working women hostel but I wasn’t ready for it. After having spent 6 years in hostel I wasn’t ready for any kind of restriction; be it on time or use of electronic items or food.
Finally we settled for the only available P.G. accommodation which my mom felt was pathetic as far as location was concerned but I was ready to adjust anywhere to stay away from hostel. Life was cool there but food was bad, people were bad & location as I said was pathetic. In such a scenario arrival of my college friend was a boon. She too had found a job in Ahmedabad and wanted to shift out of her sister’s house (she wanted to taste the fun of staying alone). So 2 months later I was yet again on a house hunt.
2 weeks down the line our broker cracked it. We had found a lovely place, though it meant staying with an old widow but the location was very good, the place was sunny, windy & neat. However what really nixed it for us was the jhoola in the living room also the landlady looked very sweet, ‘main tumhari dadi jaisi hoon' is what she had said numerous times.
In no time we shifted there and thus began the phase of our life in which
- We discovered the independent side of ours,
- Bought our first mobiles;
- Made an 11 pm trip to IIM which was way past our in-time which was 10 pm (of course without permission from the land lady),
- Did loads of vellagiri during the navratri season vaise for records have stayed in Ahmedabad for 5 good years but attended garba only once rest all time we used to just wander around.
- Discovered the real meaning of working
- Bought my zing & learned to drive.
But life was not all roses. Our landlady turned out to be a Saas type character straight out of an Ekta Kapoor serial. She was a miser of extreme order. Her promises that extra cupboards will be installed and not more than 2 girls in our room were never honored. With the crack of dawn she used to switch off the fans, her logic was the windows are huge & there is so much air why do you want to waste electricity. We were not allowed to close the door of our room, no loud music and what not. We had very little privacy to say so.
To add to our woes the new girls in our room and in other rooms were torture. The location & lack of better place however kept us at bay but once my friend moved out things changed for me. I was in no mood to live with a college going girl or some psycho. Thus I decided to pay double rent and kept the room to myself.
The land lady was still a torture but with time she had mellowed down and in a way had started depending on me & used to give enough space to me. There was a sad story behind her. When we had started staying with her she had painted a beautiful picture of her family she had told us that her son was settled in Dubai & that she missed him. Later she had confessed to that he was living a kilometer away from her but wasn’t in touch with her. As per her it was the daughter in law which was the reason behind this separation but knowing how auntie was we knew that she must have made the DIL’s life hell. Even her daughters who otherwise were very sweet but were very clearly behind her money and left no stone unturned in making it evident.
We had 6 months of so called peaceful existence in which a lady conned her of 25 Thousand (was it poetic justice?), flat mates changed, she had few operations and had mellowed down as well and that is when all hell broke loose. For all my helps during her ailment she misbehaved with me and something snapped off in me. I realised that I was being taken for granted. I decided to move out. No amount of cajoling from her could deter me. I was so fed up her that without having any back up I gave her a months notice. Trust me I haven't even described 1% of my woes, sometimes I think I can write a full book on her.
I very well knew that the amount I was paying for one room was way too much and I was in a position to afford to stay in an independent house. Thus began my search which also meant convincing my parents that I have had enough of this lady (tears strengthened my case) and I need to shift. When I found the dream flat I had another task in my hand that of convincing my parents that I will be safe in a completely independent home and for that I felt no stone unturned. Finally it was word from my boss & his wife that the flat was safe convinced them.
Eventually everything settled down and I shifted. Thus began the most peaceful & best phase of my life. Bamboo kursi’s, pink curtains, pink bed sheets, loads of candles, dari’s and my house was set. I also started cooking which was bliss because tiffin food was getting on my nerves. My books & music system were my company. With every appraisal payout I acquired a TV, Refrigerator, and washing machine.
Sundays used to be bliss. Getting up when I wanted to, eating what I wanted, getting things for home, all had a magical meaning to it. I had always enjoyed staying alone and getting into a welcoming warm & peaceful home was always darn good feeling and no against the common perception I never felt scared. And for records when my parents saw my home they were proud of it :-)
The best part with Ahmedabad is that you are completely SAFE there. In my 5 years of existence not even one outward incident happened to me. I & my friends even used to watch late night movies but never ever felt unsafe.
May be I was lucky to have a dream run but the fact is that the time I had spent alone in that flat was one of the most magical period in life. I still want to relive every moment of it. According to me every girl should experience staying alone, it not only gives you a worthy experience but it also makes you stronger & confident.
This was me, what about you? Have you ever stayed alone? How was your experience?








35 comments:
Even I love stay alone Smitha with a PC, some books and something eat.. but yet to experience it.. I am staying with my friends now.. you know it is somewhat equal to live with family :)
well i stayed alone in my house itself for a couple of years whn others were away :DDD
the best part was i was in coll tht time!!! aaahhhhh Fun times! :D
Heheheeh!!! Staying alone! The joys!! :D
The freedom of living alone cannot be expressed in words. It has all the joys of life associated with it. The joy of getting up late, the joy in having total control of the T.V remote but all this freedom has its repercussions - people who live alone will find it very difficult when a partner come to live with them since they are used to having their own way and say in their lives. This is also in true of situations wherin they have specific places to keep certain thing of everyday use and a partner simply has his own ways. There is then a conflict! This is just my own view!
Keep blogging!
After my 4 years in hostel I have been living with my parents. But I enjoyed hostel life even though we too had similar restrictions. I would prefer living with a roomie.
Hey Girl,
I moved out of my house when I was 17, and stayed mainly out till I was 25.....Lots of weird things, uncomfy situations...but tons and tons of good memories
I agree...everyone should movie out before they start to cohabit with another person :) and thats why I advised my bro to go live outside as soon as he finished his high school
Living by urself has soooooo many advantages...and it forces you to grow up..the best life experience so far for me atleast!
Hmmm so true Smita ...
I stay in a PG. And each day is fun satying here.Moreover I have my best buddy of College as my roomie.What more to ask..?:):D
Touchwood, the landowner here is not cranky, though misery is common trait in almost all the landowners;)
I think i landed on your blog through Sindhu's. I am living on my own now with a couple of flatmates and absolutely loving it!!!!
I stay alone and I prefer staying alone.
But good things need to end someday :(
Hmmm with a PC, a camera, some music and a cellphone ... being alone is great!
I think everybody must be given a chance to stay alone and learn how to manage ...
Smita, that first line by your ex.land lady 'Main tumhari dadi jaisi hoon' was you clue to run away as far as you could from her clutches.
Mostly people who become chacha chachi and dadis at first meeting start ordering you around later.
But staying alone is fun if we can find the right place. Freedom!
lol - poor dadi..should have known better :))the one week i was forced to stay alone..i saw to it that i created hell for all those accessible through phone ;P had gone 'water-less' a whole night for fear of going outside!
I was out up alone in a falt when I was on OJT for two months outside India.
Everything was taken care of - but still, the feeling of having the whole house to myself with no intrusion from anywhere was great. And weekends were great - getting up at my wish, cooking at my own will!
Heaven indeed :)
But yea - getting the right place and surroundings is very important when living alone... life can be great then! Else not, like you said.. you can write books on how much torture it is :D
Well, I was living with my grandparents so far. Me and my sister are thinking of moving to a place where we can cook. :)
hey.. i totally agree with you on the staying alone part. i never had to live in a hostel all my student life and when i got a job in the same town, i just decided to stay out for the fun of it. as you mentioned, it was the best phase ever, thought i had to return to my parents home for weekends, i absolutely loved that phase...
maybe i didnt experience the entire toughness and independence bcos the house belonged to my parents which means i never paid rent, rarely paid for water and electricity.
I stayed in a PG during graduate studies with 3 of my closest friends yet living together with very diverse habits of maintaining the place plus split of bills (usne exam time pe gaane zor se bajaye..usne bulb on chodda) almost made pucca enemies out of us :)
And what to tell you of our mahan aunty-uncle who owned the place..they were always after squeezing that bit extra from us..no cleaner/cook would stick with them and our place was a perpeual garbage mess...
Why we stayed on was..her morals were rather flexible..if u paid ur rent on time-she let u play loud music, use a water kettle and come after curfew...
Right now am jumping from one company acco to another...will start looking for my own place come april...and am sooo excited about it!
WoW! What an experience and I hope you have not forgotten that "daadi" :D
I went directly from the small state of Himachal to Hyderabad after my college, then Bangalore and then Pune.
Staying alone is cool but the brokers are the most amazing creatures I have ever seen. They ask 10-20k just for showing the flat :) what a business! People having flats in remotest part of the city don't even think, let alone thinking they behave as if they are Robots.They will start automatically-
"das mahine ka advance de dijiye, baaki baad me dekh lenge, and this das mahine ka advance turns out to be 1Lakh :)I enjoyed a lot while conversing with these Land-Lords and Ladies :)
I think everyone should stay in a hostel at least for a couple of years in their student lives, and then they should stay alone. Life's best lesson! Not to mention, as your Dadi jaisi landlady would've said, atte dal ka bhav!
Cheers,
Quirky Indian
Gee i got to stay in the hostel, but not alone... how much i wanted to but never... !!!
i think i would love the idea.. i like my own company a lot !!
Aaila, bechaari us bhddhi ki pehle se narak bani huyee xindagiko aur zada narak bana diya...uff-oh.
stayed alone? 4 years... no hostel... and like u i stayed in accommodation enough for two all alone cuz like u I did not want any psycho company... Living alone is bliss.
My two years of hostel life is a lifetime memory. I even get to stay alone at times with my husband away serving his duty. The day to day struggle of handling household chores brings best out in you, not only in terms of confidence, but being decisive too. Plus the fun of being a forced spinster is unmatched! Good post smits!
sigh! I have never experienced this. I so miss it!
Hmm...you are putting things into perspective for me. I recently moved again and I'm not too happy. But that lady sounded a whole lot worse than most of my flatmates till date. Well, except for the psycho I had 2 years ago. Just waiting to save up enough so I can rent a place on my own. Can't wait to live alone!!! :)
Hi Kanagu :-)
I guess u have good frenz that's why you say so nahin to staying alone with your frenz zometimes brings out the worst out of us :-) but trust me staying alone has a magic :)
Hi Prasad :-)
Welcome to my space :)
Ah!!! That must have been more fun I mean when u r at own home u have all the comforts in place....am sure u miss those times...sigh!!!
Hi Niks :-)
The joys & all woes forgotten or ignored ;-)
Hi Biju :-)
Welcome to my space :)
Yep I agree with your view, in simple words thats another side of staying alone. But then I also feel that these kinds of adjustment have to happen in any case so why not enjoy both the sides of life ;-) in a way it also makes us value our independence ;-)
Hi Reems :-)
Hostel life for sure has too many restrictions and if I start telling you my initial days in hostel am sure many of u here wud be horrified but eventually I end up loving those days :)
You know of 11 days of my staying away from home, atleast 8.5 years I had a roomie and that is why I had started valuing staying alone :)
Hi Shalz :-)
It is always teh good memories which remain on the top of our mind as they are more in nos ;-)
Talking of weird things I can write a book on those :D may be one day...:)
I have seen that people who have stayed away from home are more adept to adjusting new situations & in adjusting also. You know whenever any two roomies Used to fight I used to say "if you can not adjust with just 3 girls room then how will you adjust in a new home with so many people" I know a bit cliched statement but so true no?
Staying alone as u say gives us lessons which we hold onto lifelong....
Hi Shay :-)
Staying with a friend is a blessing in disguise :)
Good landlord is another rarity u know when I shifted into that home I was happy that my landlord was in another city...the afrther they are the better it is for us...
Hi Zephyr :-)
Welcome to my blog :)
U too are loving it??? Cool, Staying on our own for sure has more postives than negative :)
Hi Vimal :-)
Sigh!!! so true.....but why???
Hi IHM :-)
I would add some books in the list ;-) and yes everyone SHOULD stay alone. It is one lesson which we all need to learn...
Hi Solls :-)
Ha Ha Ha !!! We were naive at that time & fell for her....in a way it was good because staying with her I have learned loads about how mean anybody can be...
Finding the right place & right people correctly is the key here and as I said I guess I was lucky :)
Have u stayed alone?
Hi Verbi :-)
Hey ram!!!! Seriously???
I guess it was because before this you had never stayed alone and next time you will be better off :)
some adventures u have had !!! i stayed with an older girl(more like auntie) in my company accomodation during teh days of my first job .. it was hell . thats when i decided that i either stay with people i know or stay alone .. cant be asked to get up to mop teh floor at 12 in the night :-)!!!and then 2 years stayed in a hostel during college , which was totally fun..never really stayed in a PG accomodation thou ..i am going to ie without ever havin experienced "PG" life !!! boo!!
Yes! I have stayed in a hostel. Though I enjoyed the freedom and all still I missed my home, my parents, my brother.
Hi Sindhu :)
he he he true...and it seldom happens that everything falls in place :) and all said and done nothing can take away the magic of staying alone...
Hi Poonam :)
You should shift...I was so much fed up with the food we were getting ki I can't put it in words. In fact we used to pay for the tiffin also and then used to leave it as is and eat out...so when I started cooking for the 1st week I was having all my fav dishes :)
Hi Sneha :)
Well you might not have faced the financial side of it but I am sure you must have come out stronger out of the experience. Staying alone has some magic which i can not put in words...sigh!!!!
Hi d_grail :)
What you have said is so true...even me n my fren when parted weren't on very good terms, some issues did crop up between us...but things are better now....in daily life we see all the aspects of a person....
These landlords are always pain...I dunno where they make such a breed ;-)
Hope u find a suitable acco soon :-) and am sure you'll enjoy setting up the place...
Hi Tarun :)
Rememebered the Dadi?? I didn't let my mom send her my mrrg card....as I said something had snapped off...she was pathetically mean :)
Don't u remind me of brokers....you can not find a good home without them and they get paid jlt....such big amounts they eat up from both the sides...it is criminal...
Till the time these ppl are prospective landlords/ ladies they are all good baad main to...God Bless Us!!!!
Hi QI :)
You know this exactly the phase that I use with my frenz :-) and after I started managing a full home I started respecting housewife's much more :) it is a full time profession...
Hi Dhiren :)
You too love your company?? Me too :)
But if u have stayed in hostel you have at least seen one aspect of it..
Hi Ox :)
Trust you support anybody who is anti me :P
And for a change I agree with you…living alone is bliss :)
Hi Always Mad :)
Oye! Hoye!!! Aaaj yahan kaise prakat ho gayin aap?
You know I am jealous of the time u get to spend all alone…but yes in your case sometimes the time is just too much no?
Thanks dear :)
Hi WIAN :)
Trust me you have missed something not worth missing..
BTW Yest I was telling angel that Sigh! & Yawn are our most fav and most used words :D
Hi Babs :)
Oh!!! Bad re…I can understand ur problem..u know when I was house hunting I was so bloody frustrated something or the other always used to go wrong. Sometimes different brokers used to show the same house and that was limits….
But trust me when Time is right everything will fall in place and you will get a lovely place. Loads of good luck dear :)
Hi Bhags :)
Oh! God she used to make u do things like that???
PG experience se better exp was staying in hostel n staying alone!!!! And u have already experienced that so no need to cry buddy :)
Hi Sols :)
U know I had stopped missing home after initial years of moving out :) in fact I used to feel bored in vacations ;)
I love being alone too. but never had a hostel/apartment life, ie away from home. no qualms about the way my life has been. but sometimes it is inevitable that i feel life wud have been so nice if i was staying like u in ur flat. :)
Hey wish you have a lot of fun today, a very Happy valentine's day to all of us, this day will come to symbolise a day for Individual Liberty and Equality now :)
Hey Smita I totally agree! I never had problems with land ladies but it was room mates! Some of them were pretty decent but then there was no privacy whatsoever! and finally i did have a psycho roomie! I was so glad when that phase was over and now I live alone and always grateful when I get back home - no one listening to my phone conversations, no one leaving dirty clothes around or dirty vessels in the sink, of course listening to music and cooking to my hearts will and reading with a lot of peace around! Every girl must enjoy this!
I like all your posts about Ahmedabad. I am from Ahmedabad originally, so anything about Ahmedabad, and I am into it.
I also like your reviews about books, salman khan and all pretty interesting!
I came to your blog through Trupti's blog living healthy staying healthy. I also have my own vegetarian food blog www.zaayka.blogspot.com.
Will visit your blog often now.
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